All World
Gayatri Pariwar

Marriage is the supreme yagya of human life. Two souls merge together abandoning their separate identities; and this merger generates a new united power of a couple. Marriage-yagya is performed in the sacred ambience of invoked divinity, the presence of relatives and friends and in the proximity of yagya – fire (as a divine witness) so that the couple remains loyal to each other for the whole life. The occasion for this pledge of a life-long bond by the bride and bridegroom should be filled with sacred and spiritual emotions. Auspicious events should be performed in an auspicious atmosphere.

Unfortunately, today in India, the shape of wedding ceremony has been distorted. What remains is the dance-music, hoo-ha, fireworks, eat, drink and merry in the name of marriage. Lakhs of rupees are unnecessarily wasted in band baaja, DJ, tents, marriage hall, catering, and so on. Above this, the bride’s side has to sacrifice their entire hard earned money in dowry, arranging costly welcome of barat, gifts, etc. The bridegroom’s side too has to spend a lot in buying jewelry for the bride, costly costumes (normally useless after the event), and a variety of items to show off. Thus this ceremony brings loss to both the sides; and the prime objective of the ceremony is not achieved.

There are several countries across the globe. Wedding ceremonies are performed in all of them according to the local customs, but nowhere such a hulla-gulla and pomp and show of the event is made as if the sky has to be raised over the head. Like a family festival, few relatives and friends gather on the occasion. With the exchange of greetings and gifts after the event and a small tea- party, the ceremony is over in one to two hours. Only that much money is spent as required in any other family festival. This is prudence.

The revelry in wedding events seems to be neither useful nor necessary on the touchstone of thoughtfulness. The boy and the girl have to settle down as married couple. The relatives and friends have to be present as witness to the event. What may be the purpose of creating Dhamaal on this occasion?

Unfortunately, these days Indian weddings have become veritable showpieces; the auspicious ceremony has become an ostentatious event to show off wealth. That may be fine if the parties concerned are from the affluent class. But what about others (say middle class or the poor) who want to emulate such things? They too want to be the entertainers in their daughters’ weddings even if they have to take huge loans.

What is the solution? Well, present-day youth (boys and girls) can always insist on simple weddings, even when there is pressure from the parents and the community which, at times, may be hard to bear.

Numerous castes, sections and areas of the society are inundated by the predicament of backwardness, mainly due to social evils. Their wrong beliefs prevent them from breathing in the open air, visualizing the sun with open eyes. They are away from the radiance of the new knowledge. Their lives can be illuminated only by the efforts of the youth. This is because when wisdom is used to make changes in the prevalent belief system, then it also requires sincere efforts and diligence. Once they begin to take bold steps, possibilities would begin to become the realities. The only need is to begin. Subsequently, there would be many to follow and eventually, there would be substantial social changes.

Such a brave step was taken by a young girl of Haryana. She came forward to break the traditions of dowry and wasteful expenditure in wedding. In her village Chandeni, a well-educated married woman was elected the village chairperson. She got the support of the rural people and won uncontested. Soon after taking charge, she decided to make efforts for removing various social evils. Her marriage was also done without dowry and continuing the trend. Her constructive steps showed the impact in the marriage of the Grewal couple of her village. The groom Mukesh decided that his wedding would be a simple affair. There was no pomp, yet the presence of the villagers was in sufficient numbers. The village head Mamta personally tried to make the event a success. She appealed to the villagers to be present at the occasion and bless the couple. Instead of expensive gifts, the couple was given cardamom, basil and the sacred Ganga water. The way in which the village head Mamta and young Mukesh prevented the wastage of thousands of rupees was commendable.

Similarly, the courage of a 21-year old girl of Pondicherry astonished everyone present at her wedding, when she refused to marry the boy greedy for dowry and left the ceremony in between. This bold step shocked the groom and his relatives. His father began demanding dowry after the wedding ceremony began. The bride’s family showed incapacity to fulfil the demand immediately and began begging that they will fulfil it later on, after the marriage. Somehow, this news reached the bride.

The young girl had firm determination. As soon as she came to know about the maligned intentions of the groom’s side, she clarified that she cannot accept such a relation. She explained that the relations made on the basis of money only become the medium of sorrow and pain. Consequently, the groom and his relatives returned, but one of the youths present there, was impressed by the firmness of the girl. Sharing his sentiments with the family of the bride, he said that if the girl was ready, he could marry her then and there without any dowry. Both, the girl and the boy, with the permission of their families, got married without the exchange of dowry and showed that this distorted tradition could not spoil their precious life. The parents of the girl are proud of their determined daughter, while the boy’s family is proud of their courageous son, who held the hand of the girl in such an adverse time.

The youth of Nilambar village of Malappuram district of Kerala have come up with a new idea to oppose this social evil. They have launched a website through which marriages are solemnized without dowry. This initiative earned wide appreciation and has become a source of inspiration for the boys and girls, who support the idea of marriage without dowry. Till now, many such young boys and girls have been registered on the website. This is not only limited to the youth of Kerala, but even those of other states as well. All of them are trying to turn it into a nationwide movement. For success this movement are required such valiant, prudent and determined youth, who can raise their voice against this distorted tradition of dowry.

Revered Gurudev, Pt. Shriram Sharma Acharya has cautioned that expensive marriages make us poor and dishonest. However, until and unless the youth understand this and resolve to eliminate it, this social evil would persist in the society and a huge amount of money would be wasted in weddings for useless show-off. In order to bring about a social transformation, the tradition of dowry should be completely uprooted. For doing this, we call upon the sensitive and courageous youth to come forward and present themselves as examples.