Don’t Speak Too Much

Nov Dec 2017

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Silence has immense value in spiritual terms. Silence is described as mental penance, which can transform an ordinary human being into a saint. Without resorting to silence, no seeker can stride towards his spiritual goal. Amongst all spiritual practices, silence has a very special place. Even in worldly affairs and in dealings with others its importance is no less.

Silence increases sincerity in human beings. Everyone respects a sincere person and believes in him. In fact, during family disputes such people often get entrusted with a responsibility to resolve the issues and their decisions are readily accepted by everyone. In the neighborhood too, elderly people who remain silent are regarded truly wise and respectable. This reverence in society is no less valuable and it can be readily earned by just speaking less.

Even though it is not appropriate to derive personal gain from social recognition, the respect earned of others is a big gain in itself. It leads to refinement in one’s actions, thoughts, sentiments and inner being and enhances inner discipline which leads to an indescribable feeling of serenity and contentment. It augments the sense of responsibility which is valuable in all fields of life. In addition, there are several more advantages - like a popular person’s work never gets stuck, others empathize with him in his sorrows and sufferings, and always give support and help to him readily to the extent possible. These are highly desirable gains to achieve progress in life. The dignity of a person increases by incorporating silence or developing restraint in talking. A mature glow gets established on the face. A dignified person creates a place for himself not just amongst his acquaintances but also amongst people in foreign countries or new places. It is often seen that in trains or stations or public places people create place for people who quietly stand away to sit; but care much less about the convenience of people who demand and fight for a place. It is common to see that argumentative and aggressive people remain standing, whereas quiet and gentle people get a place to sit. Simple conveniences like this many a time help accomplish great tasks, whereas minor inconveniences, if not directly, definitely create mental stress indirectly.

Restraint in speaking or silence increases the impact of speech. Silence has a great spiritual value, but even if this aspect is set aside and only its usefulness in routine life is looked at, it can be seen that if we speak only at the right time and do not waste our words unnecessarily, the profound power that gets accumulated with restraint in speech also springs forth along with our spoken words. The vocal chords that are well rested produce good quality of sound, which earns respect for the statements that are made, and a sincere, solemn voice generates a very special appeal amongst the listeners.

Unlike glib talkers, listeners suspect much less the veracity of statements made by people who speak less and usually value their statements much more. It is of no less importance if people value our statements, as this increases our influence and helps create an atmosphere of trust. By remaining silent an outlook of gentleness and simplicity begins to reside on the face, which creates magnetism not only in expressions, but in the eyes as well. This attraction makes strangers into friends and at times, makes opponents into associates. This also can be regarded as an extraordinary gain.

Nonrestraint in talking makes a person unnecessarily talkative. Such a person keeps blabbering at every minor, unimportant incident and as a result, it is natural that in his speech several negative qualities like excessiveness, exaggeration, worthlessness, improperness, incongruity etc. get incorporated too. These traits get very quickly identified by others and then they not only stop believing him, but stop paying attention also to what he says. Many try to avoid company of such a person and some even resort to ridiculing and making fun of him. Talkative person earns disrepute of being a liar; and many a time people regard his truthful talk also as falsity. Silence or reticence saves a person from the defect of talkativeness and from the harm caused by it.

Talkativeness many a time leads to vilification of others and causes argumentation, disagreement, dispute and sometimes to bitterness and squabble. Such situations do not arise when one does not talk excessively. A person who practices restraint of speech quietly listens to others and does not get enthused to talk, argue and squabble with them. As a result, no one hates such a person. Instead he often becomes a mediator between two factions and at least for a short time his value increases in the eyes of others.

Silence enhances a person’s forbearance. This is because the pranic energy that a person wastes in talking excessively gets conserved by staying quiet. This conserved energy increases a person’s forbearance. It is a well-known health related fact that one who is weak is less tolerant as well. A strong person doesn’t get angry as easily as a weak person. He is able to endure unpleasant incidents without getting perturbed. The practice of silence can surely help enhance physical and mental strength that furthers the quality of forbearance. It is a famous saying that a moment of silence can deter a hundred problems from arising. During a dispute when one of the persons accepts to be quiet, he plays an important role in not aggravating the situation further. In fact, a person, who is habitually reticent and quiet, does not let a situation of dispute to even arise in the first place. While speaking excessively, inappropriate statements can get spoken which can hurt others. Answering back increases anger and in place of resolving the situation, it gets more complex. The side that stays silent during an unpleasant situation often wins the support of the onlookers and earns the distinction of being gentle and less argumentative. Silence increases forbearance; and saving oneself from unnecessary fights and disputes due to this forbearance is a big gain in itself.

The ability to keep secrets is a special gift of silence. A talkative person neither can hide his own secrets and beliefs nor of the others. His uncontrolled tongue cannot rest peacefully till it can blurt out secrets. Instead, a person who has control over speech through silence can easily keep secrets with himself. In high offices and fields like trade and politics maintaining secrecy is very important. A person who remains quiet does not reveal his weaknesses easily. There is no dearth of people in the world who are wicked, vicious and cheats, who try to extract secrets of others and then cause harm and pain. Practice of silence can very much help save oneself from such people. Many people get cheated in new places, market places, during travels and among strangers only because they mix too easily due to their glibness and also reveal all their secrets.

By not wasting energy in talking and giving importance to silence, thinking capability of mind increases. Intellect becomes relatively stable and balanced. A person with balanced thoughts can patiently reflect during harmful or beneficial situations. An intellect that has been sharpened through silence is very helpful in troublesome and difficult situations. It can be seen that whenever a person wants to think deeply he searches for solitude. He does not speak with others. It is not possible to both speak and think together. A thinker finds worthy solutions to problems only by entering into deep meditative silence. Mahatma Gandhi, for example, used to take up a fast of remaining silent for several days whenever he wanted to find a solution to a very complex problem.

The quality of silence increases concentration and efficiency of work. Whoever works in silence, works with more deftness and accuracy. A talkative person can never complete his task fully and in the right manner. A very effective example of this is in our scriptures when Maharshi Ved Vyas decided to compose Mahabharata and needed the help of an efficient writer for transcription. He felt that it would not be possible to both contemplate on the episodes of the vast scripture as well as write them. Doing them together would have taken a very long time to complete the scripture. Only if he could speak and someone could transcript, could this great work be conveniently and efficiently finished in time. So he sought support of Lord Ganesh. When the whole Mahabharata had been written, Vyasji asked Lord Ganesh – ‘Ganesh ji, you did not speak at all during the work!’ Lord Ganesh replied – If I kept saying something in between, then definitely this task would have become not just difficult but impossible. Talking drains a person’s capacity to work, whereas working silently enhances interest in the task and it gets completed more quickly.

So if we think carefully, we would realize that by giving importance to silence we not only gain spiritually, but also gain aplenty even in worldly affairs. Silence is a divine attribute which must be inculcated. This however, does not mean that a person should not talk at all. The main intent behind extolling silence is that one must speak only as much as is necessary. Not talking unnecessarily and not gossiping needlessly are also regarded as being silent. We must enhance our strength by keeping a tight leash on our tongue and adopting thriftiness in our speech. This would yield great benefits in our lives.

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