All World
Gayatri Pariwar

All parents are concerned about the future of their children and take full care of their upbringing. However, when this care and concern becomes more than required, the independence of the child begins to get affected. In today’s times, it is termed as ‘Helicopter Parenting’. The term is derived due to the actions of the parents who hover above their children like helicopters, overseeing their child’s life. Helicopter parents attempt to “ensure their children are on a path to success by paving it for them.” Though they want to help children, their involvement is so all-pervasive that slowly children lose their self-reliance.

The term ‘Helicopter Parenting’ was first used by Dr. Haim Ginott in 1969 in a book titled ‘Between parents and teenagers’. This term became so popular that it was subsequently added to the dictionary in 2011. In these changing times, it is required that parents take care, guide and be with their children. But helicopter parents get involved and interfere with all the activities of the child – school tests, choosing friends, going outdoors, playing etc. They accompany them everywhere. This makes children feel stifled and dominated. They lose their freedom and this has a very negative impact on the development of their personality.

There could be many reasons why parents end up
being helicopter parents –
1.Some parents want to see their kids excel in each and every aspect. Such parents are very much worried about the successes and the failures of their kids and hence tend to accompany them everywhere. They are worried that their children not remain behind in this rat race. They feel that their presence will make their kids succeed.
2. Some parents feel that the coming times are challenging and are not confident of their child’s ability in handling them. Such parents are also worried about their child. They follow their child like a shadow to protect him from getting into depression in the event of a failure.
3. There are some parents who did not get what they wanted in their childhood. So, now they want to give all those to their children. Parents, who faced indifference and lack of attention in their childhood, want to give more love and time to their children. They want to compensate for what they did not receive.
4. Some parents get involved with their children owing to peer pressure. When they see other parents busy with their child’s activities, they too feel compelled to get involved.
5. Many parents are worried about the future of their child. So they tend to help the kid in his activities in order to secure their future.

With helicopter parenting, there is no growth of self-confidence and self-reliance in the child and they tend to be dependent on others for any kind of work. They are hesitant to face any situation, cannot face any challenges and cannot take any decisions by themselves. For such children, it is very important that they prove themselves worthy in the eyes of their parents. They get depressed when that does not happen. Such kids, even though become successful, do not attribute it to themselves because they believe that they succeed because of their parents.

Mother bird teaches the baby bird to fly. However, the baby bird needs to flap its wings if it needs to learn and fly. If the mother bird does not prod its baby to flap its wings and push it off the branch, it will never fly. Similarly if parents keep helping their children constantly, follow-up closely, control them as per their wishes, keep doing each small and big work that the child needs to do, then such children will never learn to do things on their own. They will always be dependent on their colleagues and class mates to accomplish anything.

Hence helicopter parenting is an extreme form of parenting where parents take excessive care of their kids. While it is necessary that parents take care of their wards and be mindful of their requirements, it is also a primary duty of the parent to ensure that their child is instilled with self-confidence that will enable him to walk the path of life and face the challenges with strength and resolve. This can happen only when parents teach children to tolerate pain, to work hard, to face challenges and not be bogged down by failure.

Small plants cannot survive in the shade of a big tree because they lack the nutrition of sunlight. Similarly, children cannot grow strong when they are overshadowed by their parents. They should be encouraged to work hard and given the opportunity to face challenges and solve problems by themselves. Only then can they lead a successful life. While it is necessary to extend little support, it is also important that parents teach their kids to learn to walk without support as well.