All World
Gayatri Pariwar

It is natural that Parijans of Gayatri Pariwar would like to know 

something more about my Sadhana and the attainments 

thereof. Whatever of my visible life activities have come to light, themselves give glimpses of ‘Siddhis’ and miracles in their view.

Usually, I have never been in favour of hiding anything. Hypocrisy, tricks and fraud are not in my nature. But I firmly believe that so long as my assignments behind the curtain are not completed, raising the curtain would be counter-productive; and would not serve the purpose of awakening the sense of duty in common people. People will get mired in pseudo-occultism and my personality will become controversial. Moreover, it will create obstacles in the way of fulfilling the mission assigned to me. My life throughout is undoubtedly filled with supernatural phenomena. The curtains of occultism are so many that their premature raising would be uncalled for. So I leave it to posterity to test their veracity on the anvil of rationality and thus to judge the power and potential of spirituality. Then would be revealed the secret of how an insignificant individual succeeded in transforming his personality, just as an ordinary piece of iron turns into gold by mere touch of ‘Paras’ (the magic stone which is said to turn iron into gold). With this view the secret behind the outer events of my life could be researched in times to come and my close associates will be of help in this endeavour. But at this moment, it is premature. So let it remain veiled, as it has so far been.

The wish to write the autography can be fulfilled only in respect of revealing how I carried out my Sadhana. In fact all my achievements are the results of single-pointed dedication to and pursuit of the noble ideals put  before me by my Teacher, my unconditional surrender to the guidance of my Gurudev – and above all to Divine Grace. By taking this cue, those who are sincerely interested in this subject can find the path, treading which the bliss of spiritual elevation can be achieved. For the present, only this much can be revealed.

Of the 60 years of life (in 1971), the early 15 years are not of much consequence. In the next 5 years I was assimilating spirituality in my life system. Prayers and worship had only a small part in it. Six hours of daily worship for 24 years may not be considered so great an effort for purifying the mind and for developing sublimity. Had not the thinking and mode of working been purified, the net result would have been naught like that of the numerous people engaged in performing mere ritualistic worship. If the pursuit in my life can be considered superbly successful and the underlying reasons thereof are deeply searched for, it will be found that it is attributable to the purified state of my inner and outer being. Prayers and worship may not be considered of prime importance. In my endeavour to write my autobiography on one aspect of my life, I would state only one fact - that I have applied all my concentration and all my efforts and ability for self-purification. The prayer and worship have also been aimed at this aspect. Now for the benefit of the readers I would throw light on the path to tread for self-purification.

Dedicated life involves three–fold Sadhana-(1) Matrivatparadareshu (Apart from own wife, all other women to be looked upon as mothers)  (2) Paradravyeshu Loshthavat (Other’s wealth to be regarded as a lump of clay) (3) Atmavat Sarva Bhooteshu (All living beings to be regarded as extensions of our own self). The first two steps were simple ones. The challenge was with regard to one’s own self, which had to be expanded to encompass all beings. This was done successfully due to the inner trait carried on through previous births and with the help of my great Teacher. The mind was not so wicked or avaricious as to drag me on the path of evil doings. When it attempted to do once in a while, it was resolutely resisted and subdued whereafter it became gentle and obedient and thus I was spared from sin and down-fall. Saint Kabir had said that he had worn the blanket (the garment of clay – the physical body) so carefully that he could lay it off without a blemish. By this metaphorical expression Kabir meant that he lived his life in such a manner that no speck of impurity touched it and thus he returned it to God in as pure a condition as was it was given to him at birth. I thank the Almighty for having guided me along the same path and now I have reached a point where the danger of slipping or falling down does not exist.

The ritualistic aspect of spiritual life is not difficult. With firm determination, dedication and faith one can effortlessly carry on the prescribed process of prayer and worship. An ordinary grocer carries on his business in the same shop in the same routine throughout his life with full zeal and zest. Neither does he feel bored nor disinterested. A person selling Paan (betel) and cigarettes spends about 12 - 14 hours daily in his shop quite comfortably and joyfully doing the same routine all through his life. Then where was the need for me to break the resolve of performing Gayatri Sadhana for 24 years requiring daily routine of 6 to 7 hours Sadhana? Boredom occurs only to those who consider Upasana to be less important or less profitable than running a grocery shop or such other cores. It is lack of interest that creates boredom.

Upasana becomes uninteresting and boring to those whose supreme ambition is materialistic welfare and comforts. Those who think of getting their desires fulfilled by performing ritualistic worship get disappointed when the aim is not attained due to deficiency of dedication and the burden of the past doings. In such persons, right from beginning there is apprehension and lack of firm faith in the outcome. My state was different. The body was considered only as an instrument for ‘Sadhana’. The materialistic requirements were restricted to the extent necessary for sustenance of life. I never nourished any ambition for becoming a great man or to get appreciation or recognition. With the firm conviction that I am an Immortal, ever pure Soul, a spiritual being going through a living experience, I thought, “Why not live for its upliftment, for its awakening to its true identity and for its expansion to encompass the whole existence.” When I divided myself into two parts - that is body and soul - and identified the requirement of each, an invisible wall crashed down and light rushed in dispelling the darkness.

Satiation of sex, fulfillment of greed, amassing wealth, getting applause, etc. are the highest aims in life for those who consider their body to be their true identity. They can forget about the awakening of the soul and can continue wearing golden handcuffs and leg straps. They may be right in their pretext of not having favourable conditions to adopt the higher path. It is the ego-driven desire within that prompts people to amass material wealth, and worldly name and fame. When the aim itself is gaining material pleasures and prosperity, the whole conscious efforts and thinking will be focused on acquiring them. In that condition, Upasana will remain a childish game. Out of curiosity people do it for fun to see whether it yields something. When one takes up Upasana half-heartedly with a view to obtain miraculous worldly benefits, it is bound to be abandoned when the hoped for benefits do not accrue in a short while. Without dedication and faith, without focused efforts in the pursuit of the true aim of life, no one could achieve any progress in spiritual field. These facts were already known to me. So I paid only that much attention towards the need of the body and the management of the household as was felt absolutely necessary. The inmost conscience was firmly determined to achieve the aim. So there was no need to run after materialistic temptations and attractions.

When I began to feel myself as an immortal soul – a spark of The Divine - and my conscience to be the sacred seat of God, orientation of the mind became inward. My only concern was to keep the flame of the soul ever alight and effulgent and to be guided by its light. The path was clear and sunlit.  Live only a sublime life and adopt idealistic methods of work. Those who are not familiar with this path are scared that this way of life entails a lot of problems and difficulties and that poverty, want, abuse and hazards will have to be faced. Friends will turn foes, and relatives will oppose. It happened in my case too in the beginning. At the beginning I also had to endure ridicule and reproach. It is the people at home and close relatives who opposed most vehemently. They felt that they would lose the benefit which they expected to get through me. So they declared me foolish on account of their possible loss. But it did not last long. Goodness by itself is wealth that takes its own care and remains steady under all circumstances. Opponents and accusers realize their mistake after a little while and offer co-operation instead of placing hurdles in the way. The higher the faith and firmness, the sooner do hatred and misunderstandings disappear. Opposition at home did not last long. As soon as they realized the truth, their apprehensions and misgivings were removed. In fact there is no loss in spiritual ‘commerce’. Though externally appearing poor, such a person remains happy due to inner peace and contentment. This happiness and contentment influence others and prove helpful in converting opponents into collaborators. My problems too were solved in this way.

When the chain of lust, desire and greed for high position, pelf, power, fame and applause was broken, I felt a sense of liberation from worldly bondages. The persons who are fastened by these chains are dragged along the miserable and rough path of mundane existence and keep bemoaning their perpetual state of discontent and distress. Once the futility and insubstantial nature of these three bonds are realized and the attitude of getting and grabbing is converted into one of sharing and caring, one may be assured of attaining salvation while living in the mortal state itself. As goes the saying, “As you believe so you see”; with the dawn of the self-knowledge, the darkness of misconceptions vanishes. After such a concrete experience of my identity, neither want nor discontent remained. After fixing up the minimum requirement for sustenance of the body and maintenance of the family, arrangements were made to meet these requirements. When the roots of greed and lust were pulled out of the psyche, immense amount of energy and enthusiasm filled the heart. Anyone can test and experience it on oneself. But people want to extinguish fire with oil. People want to satisfy greed with wealth and satiate lust with sensual enjoyment. Who will make them realize that these efforts will only ignite the wild fire more fiercely? Those who tread such a path will be wandering in wilderness. Like the evil spirits and devils of the graveyard, they will remain restless and disgruntled and can do only evil things. How can anyone teach them?

Majority of the so-called seekers and teachers now-a-days are both making the mockery of spiritual Sadhana. I have attended several Satsangs and discourses, but did not find any one who had dived deep into spirituality and who could inspire others into it. When the discoursers’ doings were delved into, the dirt and rubbish in them were found to be much more than in those whom they were addressing. So I was disgusted. Great discourses and communions were taking place, but I found none of them interesting and capable of delivering the desired results. When enlightenment occurred it was from the Self within. Only when I valiantly snapped the bondages, mustering the courage from within the soul, did the aim get fulfilled. Had I waited for and relied upon others to do it for me I too might have become hoax, pretending to possess knowledge. I now feel convinced that if any one gets enlightenment, it happens only from within. In my case this is the proven fact. If one wants to tread the path of spirituality, the huge mountains of obstacles cannot be crossed over and one cannot reach the top, without an unshakable faith, indomitable courage and a highly charged spirit of adventure. The courage worked in my case too. When I stood firm, help also came by. From Gurudev to God everyone came forward to help me at every step of the path. Slowly but firmly I marched forward. This is how things have got on so far. 

People say that spiritual life is difficult. But my experience is to the contrary. In fact life fraught with greed and lust is very difficult and complicated. Compared to the amount of efforts being made, worries being carried, pain being endured and the complications being put up with by people of lustful and greedy nature, the inconveniences in spiritual life can be considered insignificant. So much labour, so much thinking and planning, so much worry; and yet not a moment’s peace! Before the efforts to fulfill the earlier need are completed, scores of further needs crop up due to which man remains unsatisfied and discontented. Though it is difficult to fulfill even small needs, he takes upon himself the responsibility to meet larger and larger needs which call for ten times harder work. Along with accelerated speed, more problems arise and create complications. Mind and soul get tired in trying to find solutions to these problems. Ordinary physical and mental efforts cannot meet the requirements that go on widening their jaws endlessly. So, immoral and undesirable means are required to be resorted to. Despite carrying on with flagrant sinful activities, the desires do not get fulfilled. Considering the damage caused by the constant anxiety and the dark future, the attainments can be said to be insignificant. In general, people, instead of living the life, carry it like a corpse - weeping, lamenting, cursing and complaining. In fact these people should be called ‘saints’. Had they taken as much trouble, endured as many hardships, gone through as much worries and anxieties and suffered as much for the sake of spiritual progress, these very people would have risen to the state of a Yogi, a  Siddha Purush (enlightened soul), a Mahamanav (great man) and Devata. In fact, real renunciates, self-sacrificers and martyrs are these folks who did all sort of adventures and misadventures for acquisition of worldly pelf and possessions and then distributing all the gains among the offsprings, and relatives, and remaining empty handed in the end. To my mind these people who suffer so much for the sake of others are great men and philanthropists in the real sense, even though they consider themselves to be greedy, fallen and degraded! 

When I look at the internal and external life system of innumerable people and the repercussions and results of their life style, I feel that I lived a far more happy and comfortable life than they did. The worst disadvantage, if at all, has been that I lived with less wealth and luxury; I commanded less respect and was looked upon as a poor man. Being not wealthy, the world considered me to be a small fellow and had little regard for me. But these so called shortcomings did not affect me any way. While others were eating spicy foods, I lived on barley and gram. The pleasure of taste leads people to sufferings, pain and agony. My cheap food was easily digested and kept me healthy. What did I lose? Instead of catering to the fleeting pleasure of taste buds, I stuck to the theory that hunger is the best spice and proved its veracity. As for the enjoyment of taste my coarse bread was more delicious than that of the luxurious people. People in the pursuit of wealth, in order to cater to their ego, endeavoured to impress others by show of costly clothes, beautiful mansions and catchy decorations. Though I could not put up any matching show with my limited resources, the happiness and contentment I enjoy are not any less. Albeit, silly hollow-minded people may have thought it childish and ridiculous, people of eminence who possessed the ability to perceive the substance and penetrate below the surface commended the greatness concealed behind the simple looking exterior and bowed in reverence. On subjecting myself to severe tests, it can be confidently said that I have physically and mentally been not only more happy despite less labour, less risk and less responsibility but the respect showered on me has also been of a nobler measure. I do not least mind in not being respected or appreciated by the deluded ones. I have no regrets or sense of remorse for shunning the worldly ways. Right from the Soul to the Supreme Soul and from gentlemen to prophets everyone appreciated the plan and mode of my working. Less risk, and yet more profit! For carrying the load of expensive, greedy, luxurious and pompous life, one needs a cart with the wheels of sin and downfall. In my case the luggage was so light that I could carry it myself and walk on without fatigue or worry. My own experience is that the ideal life is simple. There may be apprehension of getting harmed by evil people. But there is a far greater fear in the lives of those who live sinful and detestable lives. Materialistic people have to face greater risk of competition, jealousy, revenge etc. These days we hear daily of killings, loot, accidents, and such horrible news. In these incidents the victims are mostly those whose orientation is materialistic. Had such people voluntarily come forward to sacrifice their lives and to part with their wealth for noble causes they would have become great saints indeed. Saints like Jesus, Socrates, Gandhi and others of that orientation had made the supreme sacrifices to uphold righteousness. The number of unethical and immoral people who are murdered is thousand times more. People like Bhama Shah, who donated all the wealth for the noble cause are very few; but rich people who become paupers due to fraud, loot, burglary, litigation, illness etc. can be counted in lakhs these days. The danger of loot and attack is less in spiritual field, but many times more in materialistic field. If this truth were realized, people might not have been scared to adopt ideal life and would not have committed the folly of plunging into the vortex of materialistic lust and greed. My conclusion from personal experience is that there is more loss than gain in the pursuit of greedy and lustful life. What I had to lose is inconsequential but what is gained is so rich and great that I wish to appeal to everyone to adopt ideal and sublime tradition of living a spiritual way of life. But it is not easy. Citing my own personal experience, I have long been appealing to people at the top of my voice to adopt the noble way of life; but how many have cared to listen to me and among those who listened, how many have cared to practice it? 

It would have been difficult for me to climb the two steps of “Matrivat Paradareshu” and “Paradravyeshu Loshthavat” had I not had the will to realize the real purpose of life, its aim and its utility as also the courage and valour to tread the noble path. Those who considered their real self as the body and remained mired in lust and greed had to remain deprived of the spiritual progress. My boat of progress has reached the shore not on the strength of formal prayer, worship and rituals. I had to remain engaged in faith-filled Gayatri Purashcharna for 24 years in order to complete a major phase of Upasana. The full benefit of this Sadhana could be derived only when I assimilated the substance of spiritual progress in the process of practical life. If I too had adopted the way of others performing formal prayer, worship and rituals for propitiating gods in order to fulfill the desires and had not realized the needs of life and regulated it, surely my Sadhana would have come to naught. I personally know many a ritualistic worshippers engaged in the routine for long. Their prayer, worship etc. are much arduous and elaborate than mine. But on careful observation they were found to be hollow. Of course, they have the false belief that they can avail enjoyment in heaven after death. But after analytical examination I declare that none of them will go to heaven nor are they going to get any miraculous powers. The prayer, worship and rituals can yield useful results only when life is regulated and progress made towards loftiness and sublimity; when the outlook improves and is reflected in their actions and behaviour. I do not subscribe to the view that those, who are insincere, selfish and working only for the welfare of their own children, would get any benefit of prayer, worship, fasting and pilgrimage unless they bring about revolutionary transformation in their thoughts and actions – directing them towards selfless and loving service of the needy. There is no doubt that rituals are useful, but their utility is like that of pen for the purpose of writing. How can you write without pen? How can there be progress without prayer and worship? With this logic it should also be understood that it is not possible to write by merely possessing pen and paper. In order to write, the matter has to be acquired by reading, thinking, refining the thoughts and intellectual development. Without these, no writing is possible and no poem can be composed. The inner excellence is like intellectual development and prayer and worship can be likened to pen and paper. Coordination of both is required for the writing to materialize. Without one of them, the other is incomplete. I knew well that the cart of Sadhana cannot run on one wheel and hence I properly provided for both the wheels. There is no secrecy or mystery in my Upasana. I have performed the Gayatri Upasana in the normal way as described in the book “Gayatri Mahavigyan”. So long as I was sitting in Upasana, I imagined and felt that the divine light of Mother Gayatri, which is the supreme power of Effulgent Intelligence, was entering into every cell of mine. Just as iron gets hot and red in powerful fire, my inner being was getting purified to the level of my deity of worship itself and whole of my body became effulgent with the assimilation of the divine brightness of Mother Gayatri; and the impulsive impurities of body and mind were burnt in this fire. The disorders and diseases were also burnt up in this fire of Tapas. Only the body is mine, but intense Brahmavarchas (sublime divine effulgence) is undulating within. Saraswati the Goddess of Knowledge, has occupied the tongue, the organ of speech. The devils of untruth, deceit and taste left that divine temple and ran away. The eyes are left with the ability to see only goodness and beauty of God in everything. Defects like fault finding and sensuality are no more left in the eyes. Ears can hear only the auspicious voices, deflecting back all the deafening and defiling din and noise.

When the effulgent light of Mother Gayatri entered into the subtle body - the foursome of mind, intellect, emotions, and consciousness - I began to experience that Brahmavarchas was pulling me towards a higher realm in which evil desires and ambitions vanish and noble thoughts and emotions become active. The intellect understood that the rare gift of human life is not meant to be wasted away in catering to fleeting desires and silly temptations and that every moment of life must be utilized for fostering noble and uplifting ideals. Faith of a high order was firmly planted in the conscience and an insatiable urge to march forward to Satyam (Truth)-Shivam (Auspiciousness)-Sundaram (Supreme Beauty) was aroused. The brightness of god Savita (Sun, creator of the universe) is refining my being by entering into the inner body. God has elevated me far above the stage of helpless mortals and has placed me in a pure blissful state. While engaged in Gayatri Purashcharna it was not only ‘Jap’ (reciting of mantras) that was being done but the mind too was dancing on the waves of blissful feelings. The causal body was experiencing the feeling of Atma Bodh, Atma Darshan and Atma Vistar (self-awareness, self-vision and self-expansion). I felt that my soul was merged in that Supreme brightness of Savita. My ego-centered existence ended and in its place came sublime vastness. Every moment, I was feeling such blissful joy of the Supreme Soul that all the mundane pleasures put together could be sacrificed at its alter. In the beginning of Jap, the divine light was consciously visualized in the Sthula (gross body), Sukshma (subtle body) but in due course it became an uninterrupted direct experience. So long as I was sitting in Upasana the ocean of divine light of Savita kept waving within and around my being and I concretely felt that my existence was getting engrossed in this divine light. Within and without there was nothing other than light. This experience of Divine Vision remained undimmed throughout the duration of worship. The entire duration of Sadhana passed off mostly in this state of exultation. 

The six hour’s time spent in prayer provided inspiration for the remaining 18 hours. While at work there was a concrete feeling that the light of the deity of my worship is my guide and every act is accomplished as directed by him. The thought that any of my work was impelled by greed or lust never occurred to me. Like a mother helping the child to walk by holding its fingers, the divine power took hold of my intellect and inspired me to think high thoughts and noble ideas. Apart from Upasana throughout the waking hours there was a concordant feeling that all my daily routine, study, thinking and earning for the household were being performed under the guidance and direction of the Supreme Soul. The six hours of sleep at night passed off as if in Samadhi (trance). And when I woke up I felt that a new life, new light and new joy were waiting to guide my steps during my waking hours.

During the 24 years of 24 Purashcharnas, I had no heavy social or family responsibility. So the process of recitation of mantras, meditation and concentration were done very attentively and without any distraction. The firmness of faith in the dictum of “Matrivat Paradareshu “ and “Paradravyshu :oshthavat” spared the body from falling into any sinful trap. The simple and Satwik food controlled the mind and saved it from all pitfalls of degradation. The bread of barley and the buttermilk of cow were relishing and easily digestible. At every step throughout my life I have experienced the veracity of the dictum that “Yatha Ann, Thata Mann (As is the food, so is the mind)”. Had not the body and mind been watchfully kept under control, I doubt, it would have been possible to progress to the humble extent, I have.