All World
Gayatri Pariwar

Make Children Progressive but not Excessively Competitive

Parents often compare their children with other children and insist upon them to fare better than others. It is good to inculcate excellence but when parents force children to compete and do better than others, they prevent development of several important qualities in them. They may seem to do well from a practical point of view but the negative feelings they develop towards others result in distortions in their personalities.

Each child is born with inherent types of intelligence, competency and aptitude. So comparison of one child with another can lead to the growth of negativity in his perceptions. Pressure imposed on a child to get good marks in exams can deprive a child of the ability to acquire other kinds of skills. It is good to encourage children to perform well and inspire them to develop their capabilities, but setting of goals for them and then pressurizing them to achieve them is wrong. This pressure dulls and frustrates the children. Their potential to grow in the field of their liking also gets marred.

Every child tries to meet his parents’ expectations and tries to prove himself equal to the standards set by parents. But when he fails to do so he feels frustrated and gets filled with despair and remorse. In these moments the child needs parents’ support and consolation. Parents must not scold or condemn their children on failure. Children are very sensitive at this stage and can even go to the extent of committing suicide. Parents must remember that each child is unique and they only need to remind the child of his innate uniqueness.

When parents learn to recognize the inherent talents of a child, it becomes easier for the child to do well. Rather that forcing a child to follow a set pattern, it is much better to let him evolve as per his unique inner qualities. He should be encouraged and inspired to set a worthy goal for himself, should be taught to take his decisions himself and should be lent support as and when needed. Parents must always try to ensure that their child develops self-dependence. He should not imitate others; rather he should develop his own innate creativity.

Children always need guidance from parents and also their permission before taking up any important task. So it is important to teach them the difference between the right and the wrong, create awareness of new facts, develop an understanding of life and create a spirit of healthy competition. Healthy competition is that in which instead of comparing himself with others, a child displays his own skills to the best of his ability, recognizes his shortfalls and removes them, and keeps making a steady progress.

In order to progress, every child has to take examinations at each and every step. Most of the examinations are related to education, in which a child may succeed or fail. Success can make children egoistic and arrogant and they begin to treat other children with disdain. On the other hand, if they fail they feel dejected and feel lost for a way to make further progress. In both the situations, children need proper guidance. It is necessary that when children fail, their parents do not insult and reproach them. Instead they must console them and encourage them to put in more and better efforts again. If necessary, they must help them to make a second attempt, provide them facilities, and assure them that they are always with them. Children must be taught that they must never fear the results of any test. If the results are not good, children must be given the hope that there still exist several more ways and options to make progress and there are many more opportunities of life that are awaiting them. What is most important is to keep enhancing their capabilities and skills, and make sustained efforts. Wisdom grows in children very gradually. They keep moving in life with their incomplete and immature understanding. They learn whatever is taught to them. Since they cannot distinguish between right and wrong, sometimes they fall in wrong company and develop bad qualities. Parents need to be always alert and must keep a keen eye on children’s behavior, their speech and their thoughts. If the children seem to be going in a wrong direction, then it is the responsibility of parents to find the reason behind the same; and to redirect the children towards a worthy path. Children’s upbringing gets reflected in their behavior, in their manner of talking with others and in their way of thinking. They do as they are taught or they imitate what others do. So it is necessary that parents behave well in front of the children. All the wrong habits of their parents have a negative impact on children and then it becomes difficult to correct them in future. By nature, children are always a bit obstinate. So, what is good for them and what is not must always be weighed before fulfilling the demands they make. Parents, who try to fulfil each and every wish of their children, spoil them in a way and make them even more demanding. It is meaningful to make children understand the right and the wrong by giving examples. They must be told what is beneficial for them and what is harmful.

It is also very important to tell children about good food and bad food. This is because the food habits developed in early life stay with them life-long. Their attraction to tasty food items often deprives them of the much needed nutrients. Baked or fried items, packed and canned food is not beneficial for their health. Freshly cooked, light food, fruits, vegetables and juices are very beneficial. So development of good food habits is very important to maintain good health. It is necessary to develop in children each and every dimension of life. Their personality develops holistically, when along with developing physical, mental, social, cultural and behavioral dimensions, attention is paid to develop their spiritual dimension as well. All these are possible only when parents provide children with proper guidance.

So, to create a bright future for children, parents must never forget this responsibility and they must give ample time to their children.