Soulmate and Collaborator in Life’s Mission - 2
Talks of bride coming home
Taiji was very much satisfied when she came to
know that Bhagwati Devi is religious by nature.
She was getting worried after Shriram was left
alone; now a solution had been found. Her son
was tending more towards hard ascetic life; so
her worry was that if this tendency increased,
he might become a sadhu - sanyasi. After
knowing the devotion of Bhagwati Devi, she
was assured that it would keep in balance the
tendencies of asceticism and pursuit of spiritual
knowledge in Shriram.
Ramprasadji told about the bride, ‘She also takes
care of the cows in the house. One Shyama (black
complexioned) cow is so close to her that she
(cow) takes her food / water only by her hands.
If some morning she is late, then the cow starts
bellowing. It appears as if she is calling her’.
Ramprasadji further told that everyone in the
home called Bhagwati Devi as Lali. She was the
youngest child. When she was five years old,
her mother expired.
All her brothers and sisters
took great care of her. Father too cared for her
so much that she never felt that she was lacking
mother’s love. Ramprasad then laughingly told –
“And listen Taiji! Your would-be daughter-in-law
didn’t have any interest in playing in childhood.
Panditji was telling that Lali had one doll of
cloth. It fell sick very often and Lali would get
engaged in nursing her. She would start worrying
if the hands or legs of the doll got even slightly
distorted or its cloth became dirty. She would
take care of it like that of a sick person. One
‘Vaidyaji’ used to be called.
‘Vaidyaji’ was also
a doll of cloth. He would come, feel the pulse,
and tell some herbal remedy. Lali would collect
the herbs, pound them and prepare an extract and
then apply it to the doll. In this treatment, the doll
would become slightly dirty. Therefore, after the
treatment was over, she would give bath to the
doll and change her clothes.”
Taiji couldn’t stop laughing when it was told
that her would-be daughter-in-law had made a
separate kitchen for her doll, where her meals
were prepared. Other visitors (dolls) used to come
to meet her doll. Their lunch / dinner were also
prepared in that kitchen. No guest was allowed to
go without taking food.
Engagement done
Taiji was glad to know the virtues of the bride.
Without meeting the bride or inquiring anything
about her family, she approved of the relation.
In order to fix the marriage, Jaswant Raiji came
only once. He didn’t ask in the neighborhood
or anybody else about the bridegroom. He only
matched the horoscopes. After matching, he said
– “They will make an excellent couple – like
Shiva and Parvati – such is the planetary position
in the horoscopes.”
Engagement was done; and Phalgun saptami
samvat 2000 (March 10, 1944) was fixed
as the wedding day. Same day it was also
decided that Lali’s pet Shyama cow would
also accompany her. Kanyadan (daughter’s
marriage) and Godan (donation of cow), both,
would be bid farewell from Agra. It was made
clear that the marriage ceremony should be
very simple.
Indeed, the marriage was performed with
utmost simplicity. Shriram accepted only two
Kurtas and two Dhotis of Khadi as dowry. For
the bride also they accepted only cow. When
the parents of the bride insisted to give some
wealth in dowry, it was politely refused. In
the Barat (marriage party), there were four
people, apart from Taiji. The Sanskar (marriage
function) was done like a family festival. When
the bride came to Mathura, a Gayatri Yagya
was performed, in which friends of Shriram
also participated.
She became dear to all
Soon after her arrival, the bride easily adapted
to the atmosphere of the new home. Though it
was hardly two – three days after her arrival
there, it appeared as if she had been living
in those surroundings for years. Initially
the children were distancing themselves. In
fact, non-acquaintance was the only hitch;
otherwise they used to glance at their new
mother from here and there. One day Taiji
caught hold of the children and sent them
forcibly to the bride. She was sitting on the
mat in the courtyard of the house. She was
busy in some household work. Taiji first sent
Omprakash and then Daya and Shraddha. All
the three children came near but stood there
in shyness. Taiji was watching from the room.
When she saw that the children are standing
quietly, she said – “Omprakash! What are you
observing, touch her feet.”
Listening to her imposing voice, Omprakash
moved forward and touched the feet of bride.
Bahurani (bride) held the hands of Omprakash,
Daya and Shraddha and asked them to sit near
her. She caressed all the three and asked their
names, about their studies, etc. Out of curiosity,
children too asked some questions. Later
on they forgot what they asked each other.
However, the children did remember Taiji’s
words; she had seriously advised them to call
the bride as ‘Maa’ (mother).
It so happened that the children called the bride
as Chachi (meaning - aunt). They also used
to call their mother by this title. Taiji shouted
and said – “Now you are grown up children.
Stop saying Chacha – chachi and address
properly.” The children used to address their
father also as Chacha (meaning – uncle). In
fact other children of the family called Shriram
as Chacha, and hence they also started calling
him Chacha. When Shriram was married again,
Taiji made the correction in their addressing the
family members and asked the children to call
Shriram as ‘Pitaji’ (father).
Bhagwati Devi, after caressing the children, said
– “Now onwards don’t cause trouble to Taiji. Just
tell me whatever you want, ok.”
Omprakash said – “I never troubled her”.
Daya said – “If I wanted anything, I used to
insist. I think, insisting is not troubling Maa!”
Shraddha was silently standing. Daya’s childish
expression brought a smile on the face of the
new mother.
From that day onwards, Omprakash slept with his
grandmother and Daya and Shraddha with Maa.
Whatever was required, they asked only from
Maa. The needs of roaming here and there or
playing were taken care of by Dadi (grandmother,
Taiji). The responsibilities of Dadi and Maa were
not divided. Both could share each other’s work,
but the children reduced the burden of heavy
work on Dadi. They understood that they should
not make Dadi tired. After a few days, they got
so much mixed up with their new mother that she
appeared to be an old acquaintance; as if she had
given birth to them.
Affection for all
Bhagwati Devi not only took the
responsibility of the children but also that
of ‘Akhand Jyoti’ and of the guests visiting
the family. Right from day one, it appeared
that the home, the family and its members
were well known. Taiji formally explained
the arrangements and the needs of the home.
There was no need to ask again whatever
was explained. The homework began
with upkeep and maintenance of ‘Akhand
Deepak’. This was the first task of the household
chores. She met children after that; and
met Shriram even after that.
According to the tradition in that area prevailing
at that time, the bride and bridegroom didn’t
see each other prior to marriage. The bride
could not meet him for a few days even after
marriage. She could only side-glance her
soulmate during Yagya or Puja-Path. When
she first met him, she only felt that Shriram
was not only her husband but her Aaradhya
(deity of worship / devotion). It appeared as if
she got Lord Shiva in physical form, whom she
had been worshipping from her childhood.
Message of Aaradhya
In the first meeting itself, Shriram said, “You
have to take the responsibility of serving as the
mother of these children. Other children will also
call you Maa.”
Bhagwati Devi, expressing dilemma, started
looking at the face of Shriram. It appeared as if
she was asking what he meant by this. Whatever
Shriram said was not a planned talk. It came out
spontaneously from his mouth. He said – “In
future, we have to reach thousands of people.
They too will come searching us. You have to
give your affection to all of them like a mother.”
Bhagwati Devi was looking at the face of her
Aaradhya in wonder.
For the time she was
standing agape, she felt that her husband was
not an ordinary person but a torch-bearer. She
didn’t say anything, only realized and repeated
in her heart – ‘You are not only my husband,
soulmate, and life-companion but also my
Guru. Gurudev-Gurudev–Parabrahma.’
With the inrush of these feelings, she started
chanting mentally the prayer of Lord Shiva –
‘Namami shamishan nirvanroopam’.
She used
to sing this prayer in her daily worship. She
offered this prayer at the feet of Shriram. This
offering was not the one prescribed according
to yoga, gyana, karma, vidya or bhakti but
was done purely on the basis of samarpana
(humble surrender).
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