All World
Gayatri Pariwar

The institution of marriage forms the nucleus of social order. All social customs, rituals, and conventions are built around it. Different types of marriage practices are prevalent in different parts of our country. In other countries of the world, too, many novel marriage customs exist, still surviving in one form or the other, among other aborigines and tribes. Many of these practices are really very interesting and unique.

These marriages take different names and forms in different parts of our country: for example, ‘birhare’ and ‘paithu’ in Bihar, ‘golag-dhero’ among Gujarati Bhils, ‘ghotul’ in the ‘sonds’ of Bastar and so on. In the ‘paithu’ custom, the position of girls is dominant; they forcibly start residing, even before marriage, in the house of whichever boy they like. Marriage follows later. In the ‘golag-dhero’ practice of Gujarat a ‘swayamvar’ is organized on holi. Some ‘gur’ and ‘coconut’ is tied to the top of a pole. Around this pole dance all the women and girls of the village forming a circle and the men folk, too, in an outer circle. In this competition, winner is the man who is able to break through the inner cordon of women and take out the ‘gur’ and coconut. He gets the privilege of choosing any of the women present as his wife. But to reach the pole is a tough job. The women do everything possible to foil him. Beating with brooms, pulling hair, throwing stones, even biting – all are resorted to.

In the ‘Motia’ tribe of north Garhwal and Kumaon districts boys have full freedom to select their life partner. When the barat reaches the bride’s place the groom attempts to take away the bride in a doli (palanquin) even before performing any rite. There ensues a mock fight between the two sides. The bride’s side is ‘defeated’ and ‘bidai’ (farewell to the bride) takes place. After a week or so, the two sides reach a compromise, which is followed by a feast and singing and dancing.

In the districts of Mymensinh, Gwalpara and Kamrup of Bengal and Assam the ‘goro’ tribals are known as ‘head – hunters’. Theirs is a matrilineal system. The search for a groom ends in selection of the boy whose garland has the maximum number of skulls and who gives the most ferocious look. In the ‘Khas’ tribe of Jaunsar Bawar of western U. P., the marriage rites in themselves are not as strange as their beliefs. The most unusual feature is the existence of polyandry. After the marriage of one brother, his wife is deemed to be the wife of other brothers, too. This system is called “Draupadi – Vivah”. Draupadi is worshipped as a deity by the women here. The marriage is celebrated by free flow of liquor and other intoxicants.      

Matching horoscopes is a common practice in Hindu families. But the custom takes a very odd form in the ‘Khog’ community residing in Northeast frontier areas of our country. In this community, the groom’s father searches for a bride. After the marriage has been fixed the groom and bride’s sides arrive with a cock and hen respectively before a gathering of the elders and other respected members of the community. The priest cuts the tongues of the two birds and tallies them. If the signs match, the marriage is considered auspicious and is approved. Other rites are in the community tradition.

In the ‘Ahir’ caste of Kutch in Gujarat, marriages are solemnized on only one day in the whole year. They traditionally consider only the thirteenth day of Baishakh as auspicious supposedly because on this day Arjun and Subhadra (sister of Sri Krishna) were married and only on this day Krishna’s blessing bears fruit. So the Ahirs organize the big community wedding on this day where the numerous couples are married according to their different customs. The men folk too, like women wear heavy jewellery in ears, neck and feet. No ‘mantra’ or hymns are chanted but four circumambulations of fire are made. Even the death of very close kins and relatives cannot postpone a marriage fixed for this day.

The ‘Encyclopedia of Religions and Ethics’ enumerates many types of marriages – intercaste, intracaste etc. In ancient Britain, polyandry was practiced. A woman had ten to twelve husbands, one of which would be her own brother. In Ireland, dowry had to be paid by the groom. His father-in-law exercised proprietary right over this dowry for twenty-one years. In Irish history, there is an instance of one King marrying his own mother. His wives included his two sisters too. According to F. L. Griffith, marriage between brother and sister is common in the ‘Aakure’ community in Egypt.

W. T. Woodhouse has given an interesting account of a Greek marriage. The bride is decorated with multi -colored paints. Her toys, dolls and various items of make-up also form part of the dowry. If the agreed dowry amount is not paid at the time of ‘bidai’ the groom’s side realizes the same later on with interest. A very unusual feature here is that the bride’s safety and protection is in proportion to the quantum of dowry. In Iran, silver coins are given before marriage and these hold a special significance during and after the marriage. Here, too, ‘haldi’ (turmeric) is applied to both the bride and the groom.

A book titled ‘Marriage in Japan’ throws much light on the marriage parties in Japan and Korea. In the ‘Taihasyo’ community of Japan both the bride and the groom receive gifts of wine, which they serve nine times each to the other. Thereafter a grand feast is held. In Korea, the bride is elder to the groom. Polygamy is prohibited and remarriage takes place only six months after divorce.

Sage Abraham’s work ‘Book of Delight’ contains details of Jewish marriage. A girl is considered auspicious upto thirteen years of age. Her consent is essential for marriage and to obtain this consent a variety of means are resorted to which occasionally take the form of full-scale festivities. In Israel, women give seven blessings through songs in front of the family deity.

W. B. Fowler has mentioned about marriage rites in Rome in his research work ‘Religious Experiences of the Roman People’. In Rome, the month of May is considered inauspicious and the first week of June auspicious for marriage purpose. The bride wears a red or yellow ceremonial headgear. Her hair are arranged in four flowered bunches, which is probably a throwback to some ancient custom. Sacred thread is tied to the bride’s left hand and the groom’s right hand. Then they make rounds of the ‘yajna vedi’ and other sacred spots. At the time of ‘bidai’ the groom pulls the bride with jerk. This ritual concludes the wedding. The bride is given three silver coins of which one she dedicates to her husband, one to the ‘yajna’ fire and the third to the sky for the good of her future life. Some famous women in history, such as Caesar’s mother Julia and Cario Lance had been married according to these rites. 

According to J. Macaulay the Slav people of Slovak still continue with the old custom of winning a bride in battle. Two kinds of preparations run side by side at the time of marriage- one for wedding ceremony and the other for battle. Only the winner gets to garland the girl as his bride. Both the bride and the groom are heavily made-up. The bride is hidden out of view and the groom has to search her out. After this a baby is put in the lap of the bride as a mark of her own future offspring. In Southern Russia, a hen is used in place of the baby on this occasion. The bride here is given a long hat to wear. She then ties the hands and feet of her husband. Only after this ritual the marriage is considered complete.

In Ambran and Ukimas group of islands the husband has to live at his in-law’s place and under the domination of his wife until he pays back the value of his wife to his father in-law. All the children born to the wife also remain under the control of his father- in-law. In Serang this dowry is collected from the groom at the time of the bride’s ‘bidai’ itself. In Torres, the bride’s father demands from the groom all his future offspring in dowry.

Be that as it may, marriage is a long-standing social institution at the core of which lies the desire for progress of man, family and society. So all of us should maintain the sanctity of this institution through mutual adjustment and cooperation. The values of sacrifice, patience and tolerance in a marriage should be preserved to make life happy, prosperous and fulfilling.