All World
Gayatri Pariwar

A strange contradiction

We have just entered the third millennium. The literacy rate is on the rise. Plethora of creature comforts is available in ever-improving models and designs. There was a time when owning a scooter or a cycle was a matter of pride, but now car has become a basic necessity, be it a village or a town.  If we just leave aside the extremely poor segment, we will see that mobile, fridge, microwave, TV, home theater, car and several other things have become basic necessities. This list has been increasing for the past fifteen years. We certainly cannot take this as a symbol of financial prosperity and should acknowledge this as crass consumerism. Our country represents a glaring contradiction where on one side, vast majority of the population is a victim of poverty, illiteracy, unhygienic living conditions, etc while on the other side an affluent minority owns flats, skyscrapers and modern means of entertainment. On one side lie the dirty slums, while on the other side are palatial mansions; on one side there are extreme crowds at the railway stations / bus stands while on the other side there is equal rush at the airports. The capacity of the creamy layer of society to splurge has increased. We see places full of multiplexes and malls.

A tradition that has been making this country poor and dishonest

One tradition that shows us apart from other countries even during this increased cost of living is the tradition of expensive weddings coupled with dowry and show of extravagance in spite of the modern and scientific outlook. Param Pujya Gurudev has written that ‘Expensive weddings make our country poor and dishonest’.  But what is it that is encouraging this tradition to survive and gather speed so much so that even poor families indulge in it and are getting submerged in increased debts and quarrels? Marriage is a sacred bond; it marks the union of two souls. Then why do we need to resort to so much extravagance and showoff during this sacred ceremony? There has been so much progress in science but how come it has not given us little discrimination and intelligence that we could break away from the herd and set an example? Nobody is ready. The poor blindly imitates the rich in this vulgar waste of money while celebrating weddings of their children.

‘Muhurtavaad’ has made the weddings more expensive

Whatever has been missing, those gaps have been filled by the muhurtavaad. Marriage has to be solemnized during specific muhurats. This has created a crazy situation where more and more money gets spent; there is scarcity of marriage halls and banquet halls. In addition to all this, attending several weddings on the same day becomes a matter of dilemma for a person. Astrologers also manage to have their say and fix a special day for the wedding. Though living in a scientific age, we tend to blindly follow these trends. During the recent past, 22 and 28th November 2009 were announced to be auspicious muhurats and the so-called astrologers declared that such an auspicious time was not going to come for a long time. It is estimated that in Delhi alone, 10,000 weddings were performed and more than Rs 1200 crores was spent on these two days. This amount is equivalent to what was spent for the Lok Sabha elections in 2009. Between November 2009 and February 2010, astrologers have identified 24 auspicious days for weddings. Rs 30 to 50 lakhs are spent in a standard middle class wedding.

Breaking marriages, unethical traditions

I don’t understand in which era we are living? Will the married life be happy because so much money has been spent? Just because it is a status symbol, or is it ethical and wise to spend so much of the nation’s money for a wedding? Will the noble sanskaras required for a lasting and loving relationship be present in these couples? According to a recent survey, during 2007-2008 10,000 extravagant weddings were performed. Almost in all these wedlocks, there have been problems in the very first year of married life. The issues varied from dowry to several other conflicts. 30% of those marriages broke up.  When the marriages lead to such a dismal end so soon, what is the meaning of muhurat and all the money that has gone down the drain? Have wealth, jewellery, expensive baraats, vehicles and multi-cuisine dinners become simply the occasions for showing off one’s prosperity? What right do we have to play with the lives of these couples? Why don’t we resolve to perform simple and sober marriage ceremonies that inspire them to live simple, noble and austere lives dedicated to high ideals of loving kindness, compassion and service? Probably, we all have something to gain from these big and fat weddings. Otherwise why don’t the elites of society lead a campaign against this accursed custom?
Expensive arrangements should become a laughing stock Cost of living has increased, so has the list of items on the dinner menu. Today, we see people spending as much as Rs. 800-2400 per plate during the wedding dinners. This is partly because of the demand in the hotels due to limited muhurats available. This has undoubtedly led to boom in the hotel business; banquet halls are minting money; pundits who perform the weddings are in great demand, but the pockets of the people are getting lighter. Can anyone say – this is my money and I will spend it the way I want; I can blow it off in smoke just like the crackers. No, it does make a difference. This money belongs to the entire society. This is not the money of an individual. They have extracted this money from the society, but are spending it according to their whims and fancies and setting up a very bad example indeed. This is a tradition that is working against our culture and the progress of the nation. This is an insult to the values of the society.

Some statistics that will touch your hearts

I feel like presenting some more statistics to you. According to an estimate, the annual average income of an individual is around Rs 25000. But the same society buys around 800 tonnes of gold per year (note that the cost of gold has become more than 18000/- for 10gms). 600 tonnes of gold is exclusively used for making jewellery. In this country, a mere 3% of the people pay income tax every year. Then where does this huge amount come from? So, definitely the money being spent in profligate weddings must be the savings of the family. These savings can be brought into circulation through various mediums. This amount is beyond any kind of taxation. In the name of celebration and public merry-making, is this not a display of our sick mindset? Each and every intelligent person in the society should think about this.

More than 70 crores of our country’s population eke out a living with less than Rs. 30 income per day. More than 39 crores of the people are below the poverty line. Clean drinking water is not available for more than 60 crore people. 35 crore do not have access to primary education. 62 crores do not have their own houses. 20 crore sleep on the city footpaths.  15 crore are living out of compensation. On the contrary, political leaders have an average annual income of 9 lakh rupees. The annual income of about 30 crore of the population is more than Rs. 2 crores.  In India, 15 crore people are millionaires and 24 are billionaires. 25 crore people spend about 50 crore rupees on bottled water. 1.5 crore like to live in hotels while 7 crore own more than one house.
Aren’t these statistics an eye opener? But they depict a little less than the entire truth. Where do these expensive weddings take birth? This can be understood. Will group conflicts not rise in such situations? Why are divorces becoming more rampant? Why is domestic and social violence continuing on women? Why are social thinkers mum on this issue?

What can we do?

We have to think of a solution to this. We should conduct debates on this topic in the entire country. We have to awaken the people. If required, we have to resort to an organized campaign against it. Wherever there is a display of vulgar extravagance in weddings, awakened youth should express their disagreement through silent satyagraha. In a country where millions of people sleep on hungry stomach, how can we tolerate the wanton wastage of food and frivolous spending? We could stand with large flexi banners at the venue. Through the use of placards, we can hold a rally or take out a procession to spread awareness in people. The placards should display that each day is auspicious so that the myth about muhurat is broken. We should create awareness for simple weddings and ideal life. Young men and women should be made to take an oath for weddings without dowry. We should meet their parents and relatives and request them to read Yug Sahitya. We should request them to spend a part of their savings to help the couple in setting up their home and give as ‘Streedhan’; while some part could be spent for activities related to social welfare.

The tradition for ideal marriage should become more prevalent

We should hold debates and competitions on this topic in schools and colleges. We should arrange for exhibitions and awaken the masses. If we focus on colleges, universities and technical institutes, we could bring about a particular atmosphere within a couple of years in the entire country. The amount and wealth that is saved through this movement could be used for establishing schools, colleges and for creating employment avenues for the poor. At Shantikunj  Haridwar, Gayatri Tapobhumi in Mathura, and in the 4000 shaktipeeths ideal weddings are solemnized with minimum expense. These marriages are conducted through the entire year with vedic rituals and processes. These marriages are not influenced by any kind of muhurats. Till now, more than 1.5 lakh marriages have been performed in this manner. Are we geared up to fight against this evil? Are the youth ready to take a vow that they will not take dowry? Are the young women courageous enough to say that they are not ready to be ‘sold’ and will not give dowry? If this happens, then our country can become more financially secure and socially healthy and harmonious nation. Our aim is to become the torchbearer for establishing global harmony and peace – a sense of unity in diversity – in the whole world.