All World
Gayatri Pariwar

   The state of balance leads to peace. Imbalance at all levels and in all spheres causes instability, chaos and anarchy. Modern society is in a state of imbalance and consequently is in great turmoil. The social scientists identify as one of its causative factors the incomplete and one-sided development of human personality. This not only creates myriad problems but also adversely affects the progress of the self and the society. Forces of instability, decline and turmoil reign supreme all around. A deeper probe of this aspect would make us aware that men and women are not exactly what they appear to be. Both reveal only half of their beings. Inside every man dwells a woman and inside every woman a man but these other halves remain unmanifested. This incompleteness leads to many distortions and undesirable happenings in the society. For example, a killer, at the moment of killing remains completely immune to the pain of the victim and misery of his kins. If he were to sense this pain even for a fleeting second, the very thought of committing such a heinous deed would make his heart shudder. But alas, very few are able to do so. A lack of compassion and sensitivity is primarily responsible for this state.

The great thinker C.M. Joad in his work “The Mankind” writes that if the finer sensibilities in mankind had been nurtured and strengthened from the beginning, the history of wars and conflicts would have been documented as a history of friendship and cooperation instead. But it is really tragic that arms are used and much blood is shed on the pettiest of issues which otherwise could have been settled through understanding and cooperation. This tendency is a reflection of the extreme aspect of the male nature. On the other hand, women do have sensitivity but they lack in boldness and bravery. As a result they are unable to excel in work involving these latter qualities and invite the tag of weaker sex. But this again is not a true depiction of the reality. They are not weak, only incompletely developed.

There are two sides to the coin. Where there is heat, there is cold. In fact, knowledge of the cold is subsumed in the consciousness of heat. Similarly, darkness and light co-exist as do evil and good and there can be no identity of the one without the other. Nature is full of such states of opposites - black-white, tall-short, credit-debit, love-hate, tragic-comic, happiness - sorrow, rich - poor, good – bad, etc. It is these complementary attributes which are responsible for equilibrium and order in nature, society and the world.

Man and woman are the two opposite poles of the society. Man has courage, bravery, adventure and capacity for hard labour; woman possesses the finer qualities of compassion, sensitivity, tolerance and love. Both together build a composite society and make possible its balanced growth. Again, apart from this inter-personality balance in the society, God’s scheme provides for intra-personality balance, too, by incorporating within each both male and female elements. In man, female element exercises a sobering influence over domineering male characteristics; in woman male element counterbalances a surfeit of feminine qualities. This scheme prevents formation of a linear, narrow and one-sided personality.

Today, the tendency is very common that if a woman exhibits manly qualities of bravery and courage or does some heroic deed traditionally belonging to the man’s domain she is applauded and rewarded and paeans are sung in her praise. But if a man shows his tender side and talks of kindness and non-violence he is considered effeminate, held in ridicule and contempt and is even presented with bangles or some such symbols of feminity. It is the society’s way of conveying that feminine virtues do not behoove a man; these are more suited to the weak and coward. This attitude is nothing but an insult to womanhood. When manly traits in a woman are extolled why should the reverse be not equally honourable? But sadly it is not so. This mindset is a clear pointer to the male dominance in the society. Feeling of high and low, rich and poor, regionalism, casteism, communalism, linguistic chauvinism, gender etc. – all these are different forms of manifestation of the same root malaise, namely, male superiority bias. As a result, inequalities grow, poverty and deprivation increase.

It is time now that the dichotomy between the two identities is removed and out of that coordination a composite persona is formed. A man be a man at one time, but he should also exhibit full womanly qualities at some other time. He possesses masculine qualities of courage, endurance and hard work but at the same time his heart should be suffused with feminine graces of kindness and compassion so that both these powers might be utilized as and when the need for either arises. When evil is to be suppressed the qualities of courage and strength are brought to the fore, and when so required healing touch is provided to bruised and unhappy souls.

The same applies to a woman too. She should not remain confined to the mould of a loving and kind hearted soul and should display enough boldness and strength to beat back all evil intentioned advances towards her. As the saying goes, a snake may not bite or have poison, but its mere hiss is enough for self-defense. This is entirely true for women.

Thus only by becoming complete human beings we can hope to take the society forward. An incomplete person would either be an exploiter or become a victim of exploitation. Both positions are unacceptable. Human beings have hitherto been living the two identities separately. Now both of these should be merged into one. Only this oneness would give stability and strength to the society, remove discrimination and injustice against women, and make man more honorable and respected.

But how to achieve this? How to become a complete person and develop both aspects of the personality as an integrated whole? Experts of the human psyche are of the opinion that if the tender feelings of a child are nursed and strengthened since the very beginning, his sensitivity could be sufficiently developed by the time youth dawns. Jijabai’s heroic tales had filled the heart of Shivaji with the spirit of bravery and courage. Similarly, there is no reason why the young and receptive minds of children - both boys and girls - cannot be suitably moulded through tales and poems of compassion and valour respectively.
The Indian culture lays great stress on the importance of samskaras and considers possible the formation of a desired personality through their inculcation. Science, too, supports the view that a person is a combination of both masculine and feminine elements either of which has equal probability of finding full expression. Now it is for the parents to decide whether, and to what extent, they are interested in an all round and integrated development of their offspring.

There is thus sufficient weight behind the opinion of sociologists that an even development of male and female elements inside a person makes for a balanced human being who in turn is the progenitor of a stable, ordered and non-violent society.