All World
Gayatri Pariwar

  FAST BREAKING MARITAL ALLIANCES AND INCREASING CRIMES Spousal life in peril There was time when a ‘House-hold’ used to be a sacred institution; a place of austere practices as first priority. Thus they were always found brimful with natural cooperation and an unconditional reciprocity of love, affection and regard. They were, thus, ‘Mini-democratic houses’ in a way, for they always reflected the ideals of ancient sublime culture. These days, there is a flood of sinister events in our so-called high societies. A recent comment of a Supreme Court’s Judge in connection with a judgment reads: ‘The graph of domestic violence is rising rapidly these days and the cases of divorce are becoming frequent. It appears as if merits of the household are on the verge of disappearance’. There are not one or two but a considerable number of events putting a stigma on our Rishi-devised family-centered system.

There is one such example given below throwing light upon the crazy trend of today’s so-called advanced cultural life-styles. The story is related to a highly educated and working couple Alka and Akash, who had been class fellows, too. Their first love soon turned into an apparently unshakeable bond, unshakeable because they felt like that at that time. After getting consent of their parents they ultimately tied the nuptial knot. The bride was beautiful, earning a handsome salary and well-versed in the family chores. The happiness, however, turned out to be short-lived; she was brought into the ambit of suspicion just for her beauty and long office hours. The same father- mother-in-laws who were at one time singing paeans of praise for their daughter-in-law became allergic to her activities, nature and even her very presence in the house. Soon there started a routine war of words and altercations, often ending into scuffles.

Even Akash began to raise his hands on her; in as much as once he thrashed her head against the wall. The comments of the mother-in-law were that: she was no more agreeable and she wanted another bride with “mimosa-like” soft nature, shut off from any other outside exposure, interference and mixing up. Now since she was unable to fulfill those requirements she was no more welcome to the home. Thus, circumstances left Alka with no alternative other than a divorce. Now what may be the reasons for such abrupt changes? A deep reflection would reveal several factors disrupting an otherwise smooth and happy family-life.

Some of them, rather most important ones, are: male chauvinism, promiscuousness of males / females, and high profile world. The venomously possessive male mind The above tale is not concocted one; instead, it is a stark truth and reflects the evil-some possessiveness of the human male class which has been like that perhaps ever since pre-historic times. It is due to this demon lodged in our hearts that we usually lose our sensitivity and begin to suspect our innocent female partners. We can very well see that women elected as sarpanchs, ward members or any other office-bearers are not free to take their own decisions; instead, their remote control is mostly in the hands of their husbands.
Just think of the consequences of such high-handedness! An impact of sanskar tradition The glamorous life style in the beginning of the married life appears to be so attractive and fascinating that it appears to be a love affair of cine-culture. However, the pretentious disguise drops usually soon after the marriage and Mr. Husband starts exhibiting domineering traits. Domestic murder cases have increased in the previous decade by about 15%. They are mostly the outcome of sinister whims, fraudulent love-full promises, jealousy etc. Secondly extra-marital relations, particularly for the sake of carnal pleasures, are also potent causes for ruination of the harmony of homes. So-called modern advanced societies are providing ample opportunities and impetus for ruination of sacred Indian culture. Glamorous parties, co-offices and co-education, outdoor free-style excursions are adding fuel to the fire. But alas! These have become the acceptable norms of the day.

It is openly declared that nothing is wrong in today’s lifestyle; everything is right and justified. But speaking truly, it is rather an open onslaught of the so-called modernity on our sensitivity based social frame work called sanskar-tradition. Hatred – born crimes Dr. Rekha Trehan, a renowned psychiatrist of Delhi, says that several of the crimes coming into light these days prove to be the result of hatred-born anticlimax of passionate love-affairs and similar evils. Media are also playing a sinister role, adding fuel to the fire. An example of a model known by the name of Moon Das of Raurkela, would illustrate it. Moon Das, who wholeheartedly loved her spouse Avinash, on reaching Mumbai became promiscuous on enjoying infinite scope for modeling there and planned to desert Avinash. Consequently Avinash grew wild, could not tolerate her infidelity and lost his temper, and killed her mother and maternal uncle first and then shot himself dead, too.

Such cases are becoming common now, especially in so-called high-cultured big and metropolitan cities. The crazy trend is slowly spreading to the villages and remote hamlets. To conclude: whether it is an arranged marriage or a love marriage, in either case the sacred bond is in peril. It is a grim situation indeed and demands urgent attention of the wise leaders of the society. Present – day women The “women- empowerment programs” have altered the situation altogether. Consequently, present-day women are becoming evermore independent and free in their actions and thinking.

Obviously this sort of empowerment cannot strengthen their soul force modestly and a maternal love, for it is not based on spiritual and cultural foundations. It is, on the other hand, based on quite a different kind of empowerment that stokes the fires of retaliation, perhaps. Today’s women are career conscious, securing jobs in almost every field and working hand in hand with men of every rank; from schools and colleges to hospitals, judiciary, police, armed forces and various administrative services. They want no more to look back to their earlier history of the bondage and suffocation. An increasing number of them are thus found to be sinful or wrong in entering into sexual relationships without marriages and even having children through such alliances. The sacred institution of marriage and extended family is thus being destroyed. The noble attributes of womanhood – motherly love and care, compassion, other-centeredness, etc are being disdainfully discarded.

If there is no selfless bonding of souls at the levels of family, what will happen to the social fabric as a whole? The high profile world Leading psychologists claim that among so many other causes, the overindulgent, consumerist, life-styles are no less responsible for the bitterness in married lives. They are playing havoc with social and familial harmony, peace and cohesiveness. An over-busy husband provides his life partner the license to seek another soft and pleasing ‘alternative’. In other instances, both the partners, while being busy in their offices for routine long hours, fall easy prey to promiscuous relationships – for a change – without any compunction. Net-chatting, cell phones - the so-called great achievements of today’s high profile world are playing havoc with the delicately woven fabric of our society, throwing all time-tested rules of morality and ethics to the winds – thus providing a field day for wanton commitment of most heinous acts of crime and cruelty.
Sociologists assert that splitting up of joint-family-system and emergence of ‘nuclear family pattern’ have also furthered the destruction of the social order. In the joint family system, every member could freely exercise sober independence within the group and also share in pleasures and pains of other members of the group. Every thing has now changed for the worse and there is a reign of tension, dejection, depression, and suffocation every where. Should a wife be suspected just for her beauty or just for her outdoor hours in her office? Is the suspicion an end-point, stopping any further attempts at reconciliation just because she sometimes fails to be in steps with her husband’s family? Again is it correct to take recourse to divorce or begin to abuse her just because she is unable to bear you a child; often a child of the gender you prefer? These questions need serious reflection for finding viable solutions.

Nurturing of ideal families We are particularly adept at giving discourses to others! For instance, people can be found explaining merits and advantages of honesty, fidelity, celibacy and so on; and imposing them on their listeners, without ‘walking the talk’. We must, instead of preaching, learn to observe the same virtues in our own every day life. For nurturing ideal families, women have a very crucial role to play. They have proved that they are in no way inferior to men in intelligence, competence, management skills, etc. In fact they have been endowed with superior gifts of warmth, love, compassion and self-sacrifice. Therefore they must consciously cultivate and activate these life-nurturing virtues and save the society from total collapse; and infuse it with the life – nurturing waters of peace and harmony in all spheres of life – home, neighborhood, workplace, society and the world at large.